I chose to be brave today. I don’t usually go up to strangers and talk. The thought of really opening up to people face to face makes me so nervous. I am one who keeps things to myself and doesn’t see the need to share with others. (I know...this isn't good. I'm working on that!) I have been feeling real lonely lately as a mother with a child with health issues. A mom who I regularly see at therapy has been on my mind. Her daughter seems to have quite a few issues like Zachary, but her daughter is older and is able to walk now. I want to know her story. I want to know how she parents her daughter. I want a friend who understands. I really felt God placing her on my heart so I last week I quickly started a conversation with her as she walked out the door. I asked if I could call her, if we could meet up for coffee sometime. She was great and said anytime.
Today was that day. We met at Panera and she was eager to hear Zachary’s story, to share her daughter’s story, and to bring words of encouragement. She also answered many of my questions. I learned that in some ways Zachary is doing things far beyond her sweet girl. I also have a feeling that he is behind where she was at his age in some things as well. She explained how every child with a muscle disorder presents different symptoms. She gave me ideas of things to discuss with the doctors at our appointment today. She shared stories of how the doctors we see at the Children’s Hospital have really helped them. I love that we see the same doctors!
I came away encouraged that I now know another mom who is dealing with similar challenges. Her sweet girl is almost 3 and she still deals with the emotional struggles I feel as I am just starting down this path. It’s very hard to not compare my child to others his age. It’s hard to not think “this isn’t fair!” I guess one thing I came away with was the realization that there’s not a tried and true way to fix what I am feeling. This is normal! I will deal with this for a long time, and it is okay to feel these feelings. If anything it makes me even more motivated to find other moms and connect us together somehow. To strengthen one another as we go through our ups and downs.
Today is another visit at the Children’s Hospital. Memories of the long list of doctors from last time haunt me today. The overwhelming amounts of knowledge and big words scare me. I don’t want the hard decisions of muscle biopsies, anesthesia, and blood tests. Will they see improvements today in Zachary? Will they pay more attention to where he isn’t measuring up? So I start my day in God’s Word and prayer and remember how much he has already gotten us through. I will walk alongside HIM today. And I pray for my new friend today. For strength for her to be the mom her daughter needs today.