Psalm 139 has beautiful truths about GOD – and his presence and knowledge of me. I have enjoyed listing the truths I see about God during the Run to Him study this week.
But I keep being drawn back to verses 13 – 16 this week. For those of you that don’t know, our now 11 month old boy Zachary was born with Congenital Cataracts in both eyes. He had cataract removal surgery when he was 5 and 6 weeks old. He now has no lenses in his eyes and wears ADORABLE super thick glasses, and will have more eye surgeries when he is at least 2 years old. Not long after those surgeries we began to notice developmental delays and limpness in his body. He has what they call Hypotonia – low muscle tone. This is just a symptom name, not a diagnosis. He has had numerous blood tests, and an MRI of his brain, all of which continue to come back normal. We do physical and occupational therapy weekly and milestones for him these days are holding his head up, beginning to roll over, and sitting supported. These are big steps. Not necessarily big steps for a typical 11 month old, but for Zachary these are monumental. Zachary has many more milestones to make in the days ahead. He is a joy and we love him to pieces. His smile will light up a room!
I pray for my little guy. I pray for God to make his muscles strong. I pray for him to get the desire to try rolling over. I pray that he will one day learn to sit, crawl, walk, & talk. I pray knowing that there’s so much still unknown. Is there something wrong we don’t know about? My mind can go crazy if I let it. Every doctor appointment I pray like mad and feel God’s peace and presence to get us through. So far every time we come away with no answers. We keep saying “maybe he’s just delayed and he’ll catch up and be fine. Maybe there isn’t an answer to be found.”
All week as I studied Psalm 139 I couldn’t help but see these verses and hear God speak Zachary’s name in them.
Psalm 139: 13 - 16
For you created Zachary’s inmost being; you knit Zachary together in my womb.
I praise you because Zachary is fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
Zachary’s frame was not hidden from you when Zachary was made in the secret place. When
Zachary was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw Zachary’s unformed body.
All the days ordained for Zachary were written in your book before one of them came to be.
These verses were somehow meant for my mother’s heart this week. I feel a peace in the unknown once again. Does that make me stop praying? NO! Do I still find those moments of worry? Yes! But I will continue to cry out to Zachary’s Creator on his behalf. I pray for miracles in his tiny body. I pray with a peace knowing God the creator of the universe, the creator of precious Zachary sees, knows, and created him just the way he wanted him to be.