Yesterday was the day. I knew it would come. I knew it would be hard.
Let me first say that during my pregnancy a friendship grew. One of our worship leader's wife was pregnant with her 4th, just like us, and we were due a week apart! We sent back and forth hundreds of texts throughout those 9 months. Lamenting our pains, sharing our days living like beached whales, a friendship grew. On a Tuesday morning her sweet girl was born. The next day it was our turn. Just a few doors down from my new friend our Zachary was born. So much in common, I feel like she is a kindred spirit. A friendship I look forward to keeping for a long long time. I've been so grateful that it has not been that difficult to watch her daughter make so many milestones that Zachary just cannot do yet. But I've actually knew the day would come. And it did. Yesterday she posted a video of her daughter taking her first steps and walking like a pro! My boy can't even sit on his own. I try not to compare but I had my moment of comparing and feeling sorry for myself.
Thankfully my doom and gloom was short lived and I put down the computer, looked at my little man sitting in his bumbo chair and smiled. He may not be walking, but GOD has brought him SO far. We have a LOT of catching up to do, but it's not his time. I get to cuddle a boy like a baby a little bit longer. I get to bottle feed my baby and cradle him in my arms a little longer than most. He can see with his sweet eyes that were once blinded by cataracts. He can hold his head up like a champ when 9 months ago that was a major challenge.
And so I wipe my tears, brush away my selfish thoughts and cuddle my boy, thanking God for how far he has brought him in a year. And then I open my Bible. Clinging to God in preparation for the next moment I begin to fall apart, which these days might come very soon.